Don't Date This Woman

On my daily commute to work, I apply two very simple strategies to choose my route. My main strategy is to move towards my destination (Watermark). My second strategy is to avoid anything that might prevent or distract me from getting there on time. For example, I try to limit the number of red lights, dodge potholes, and avoid traffic jams or accidents.

In a way, I believe dating can be as simple as these two strategies. If you are a single guy and desire a spouse—something that the Bible says is good (Proverbs 18:22)—it is up to you to initiate and be moving down that path (strategy 1). But you also want to avoid potholes and accidents (strategy 2), by not dating women that you ultimately wouldn’t want to spend the rest of your life with.

So, below is a list of dating “U-Turns,” or signs that you may need to turn around and not go down the dating path with someone.

10 Signs You Are Dating the Wrong Girl

In no particular order. Guys, avoid marrying a girl who is:

1. Unknown. This is the same as in the list of things a woman should avoid. If you don’t know anything about her, you don’t know whether she is worth pursuing. (Proverbs 18:17)

2. Quarrelsome. See also nagging, angry, harsh, and unforgiving. This one is unusually prevalent in Scripture, which compares such women to water torture and says it would be better to live “in a desert” or “on the corner of the roof” than with a quarrelsome wife. (Proverbs 27:15-16)

3. Sexually immoral. This refers not to her past, but to her present. If she is not committed to purity, it will be that much harder for you to stay committed. And if she dresses slightly undressed, beware. (Proverbs 7:10-27)

4. Vain. Is she stuck in the mirror of self-worship? Is she focused on temporary outward adornment, or lasting inner beauty? (1 Peter 3:3-4)

5. Materialistic. Is she greedy, and obsessed with having comforts in this life? Does she want you, or want what you have? There is never any end to “want”; nothing will ever be enough. (Hebrews 13:5)

6. A gossip. Does she delight in finding fault with people and putting other people down? Is she negative, finding the worst in every situation and in every person? If she does it with others, she will do it with you. (Ephesians 4:29-32)

7. Selfish. Jesus said that all of God’s law boils down to “Love the Lord” and “Love your neighbor.” If she mostly loves herself, she’s not doing either. (James 3:13-16)

8. Dishonest. Is she manipulative or deceitful? If she lies in the small things she may lie in the big things. (Proverbs 6:16-19)

9. Rebellious. Does she avoid community and accountability? Does she reject biblical truths and deny or defy authority? (Ephesians 5:21-24)

10. An unbeliever. You cannot be her savior. If she is not pursuing Christ first and foremost, don’t pursue her. (2 Corinthians 6:14)

Nobody is perfect, of course, or even all that close to perfect. And don’t expect her to be your savior, either. In many ways, you should be the one leading her in godliness. But by watching out for these negative traits and focusing on the things you should look for in a wife, you can avoid ending up in a place of disappointment, despair, or divorce.

Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength—and date someone who does the same.

• JP